1. You seem to be missing a credit for Universal (should be something along the lines of "Universal Pictures presents"
2. You could try putting white flashes between your various cuts, and possibly including more of a range of different shot distances with additive dissolves like you've done with the initial cuts
3. The shot of the girl on the swing could do with something doing to it (possibly jump-cutting with additive dissolves or some zooms?)
4. The credits work well in terms of the timing to the music
5. To a certain extent, this works very well. My one concern is that it looks more like a trailer than a title sequence. I think if you're going for a "Se7en" vibe (which it seems to reflect) the editing needs to be a lot pacier and snazzier. You might also want to think about making the titles a little more interesting (for example, adding some sort of effect to make them a little more intense). There needs to be a slightly clearer "through line" for the narrative. For example, some fake newspaper headlines - "Killer strikes again"; "body discovered in wood" etc.
6. Not sure about the bit at the end with regard to the CDC - doesn't seem to fit. If you go with the news idea, you could do a fake news report ("Police are still seeking the killer who has claimed the lives of a number of girls") type of thing?
7. The bit at the end with the title doesn't quite work; it needs to come in a little later.
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